Leading from the Middle - Language has the power to make or break.
“Bridges can’t be built in silence”.
Every day we all do the same thing. Communicate. Whether it’s to ourselves or someone else, we communicate to express ourselves. However, what makes us all unique is the language we speak.
Yes, maybe the people you communicate with every day all speak English, Spanish, Japanese, or even sign language but the human element (our upbringing, culture, how we learn, skillset and experiences) shape how we communicate.
Speaking a language — everyone if not most — can understand is one of the hardest things we do every day with little to no recognition. But it is equally one of the easiest things to get wrong and could have the harshest of consequences.
Every day we can (most of the time) speak a language that most if not all can understand. Whether we realise or not’ being able to enter any meeting or group conversation and explain something in many different ways is something we all do.
The history of language
It’s easy to forget how complex languages are. Throughout history, languages have had to adapt and change as humans evolved. Minna Sundberg’s illustration provides a great visualisation of the relationships between languages. Representing the distinct linguistic origins between each language to even the leaves themselves representing (roughly) how many people speak each language.
While today we see more than 7000 languages spoken around the world Unesco, state that there are over 2500 languages in danger of becoming extinct. National geographic state that a language becomes extinct every two weeks. Not including the 10’s of thousands, we have already lost throughout the centuries.
It’s easy to understand languages from a general sense. We can comfortably see how it influences how we communicate day to day. But when you look closer, you see that local communities and the human element also shape the language we use.
There is more to what you hear.
As I talked about in my first leading from the middle article, I can speak three languages. British, American and Australian English with varying degrees of fluency. I would even say that I am starting to understand Canadian English too. Although I would stop short in saying I was fluent.
Being raised in Australia, living in the UK and working closely with people in America, I have learnt the differences in keywords to ensure that I adapt what I say so that my message is coming across clearly. It could be simple things like a boot (Australian/British) to trunk (USA) to other words that, although spelt the same but are pronounced differently, such as data. If you want to see more examples of words that have multiple meanings, you can go to your dictionary.
We also need to be mindful of the local colloquialisms (or local dialects) in communities and families. For example, although you might say you live in England, as soon as you go to Liverpool or York, you will find that phrases or words they use will sound and mean different things.
In short, words can mean different things to different people. Proving, any communication we have with an individual or a group of people is a minefield.
Non-verbal communication
Unlike verbal communication, where it’s a single channel or shared code, non-verbal communication is more impressionistic. Where the individual provides a unique take on what the non-verbal cues mean to them.
An individual can show through their body language if they are feeling relaxed, anxious or angry. It could be something as obvious by crossing their arms to something more subtle like subtle facial expressions.
Research suggests that the impact of our message is broken into the following:
- 7% comes from verbal
- 38% comes from vocal
- 55% from non-verbal (body language)
In short, while we may listen to what people are saying, we are also observing people’s body language to gauge what they really think, or feel even if they are lying.
How do we improve our understanding of language?
Between all the variations of how we communicate, it’s safe to say language is our most varied and has been one of our most evolving throughout history. As some languages died, others adapted and thrived. How we communicate with each other, can make or break any goal we are trying to achieve.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been misunderstood because of the language I have used. Whether I had a lack of understanding in the words I chose or the phrase I used in a situation, to not reading the overall situation or individual I am communicating with. The mistakes I have made have been some of the hardest lessons I have had to learn.
Equally I have experienced it from the other side. Where people haven’t related to me as an individual and understood how to communicate with me. Things I try and follow now when trying to influence without authority are:
- Think before you speak — Trust me when I say this is easier said than done. But sometimes taking, a moment to think through what you want to say helps it come across better.
- Understand where someone is coming from — We are all different in how we understand the world and how we process information. Sometimes taking that step back to understand how someone processes information, in turn, can help you find a way to communicate to them.
- Watch out for your non-verbal queues — Your body language will always tell people what you think of what they are saying. So be aware of how your body or face is responding to the information you are receiving.
Taking into account the human element of an individual can make or break any goal we are trying to achieve. By building an understanding of the differences, however small, helps to try and avoid situations where the outcome is a negative instead of positive.
Leading from the Middle Series
Learning
Mental Health
Self Awareness
The Building of Bridges
